How one can became two...how two can become one...

It is said in the Greek mythology that in ancient times the man had 2 heads, 4 legs and 4 arms and that he was very strong. Due to this, Zeus, the God of all Gods, decided to cut them up in two and to make them weaker by throwing the two parts to different corners of the earth. Since then, the two have been wondering the world in search of their other half, or soul mate how we like to say it nowadays. From this perspective, finding your happiness abroad is a natural act. For me anyway it has been as natural as it can be, which has even startled me at the beginning. Somehow I was expecting more resistance from myself, but it did not happen and I just accepted to go with the flow since I do not see the point in complicating matters too much.

Yesterday I was reading a blog written by a Romanian woman who has a passion for Japan. I told my boyfriend about it and he told me not to read it since it would be fake. He says Japan is different for the natives and for the tourists. He asked me what is my image of Japan after reading the blog and seeing some photos of it (some as in hundreds, lol) and at that moment I realized that I have not build an image of Japan and how it would be like. This relationship had developed in such a natural flow that I feel that the Russian saying about going to the end of the earth to be with your beloved can be now applied to me. However this is not something that can be said about Moldovan women in general. Though we do have a tendency to be romantic and assertive at times, most women in Eastern Europe have a fear of the unknown. The scars of the massive women trafficking, that still lingers in this part of the world, can still be felt. It is even more incomprehensible for our families since their communistic upbringing can still be felt. If travelling to Europe and even USA had already become a norm in Moldova, there is still very little that is known about Japan. Information is crucial….so with patience and a lot of information even the walls of the misconceptions and stereotypes of our parents can be broken through. many families are old fashion, but always very kind and hospitable.

Happy endings exist and the two halves can find each other…mine lives in the Country of the Sunrise (an alternative way we call Japan).

P.S. Take that, Zeus! Lol.

The bridge

A relationship means building a bridge towards another person, they say, if the other person responds positively to your feelings then he/she starts building a bridge too and you meet half way. If your feelings are unrequited then your bridge will never reach its destination, it will fall and crumble half way…In this perspective, my bridge will have to be a very long and strong one in order to pass over oceans and thousands of miles of land; it will have to reach a place I do not know and can’t say that completely understand. I play it by ear, I try to soak in everything that I am being given…and still at times I hit a wall…I am sure my partner feels like that too sometimes. Despite this, every time we pass a stumble block I feel as happy as a child who has gotten a candy. I feel happiness in every victory, as small as it may be, because every moment matters. Bad or good, every experience makes people closer to each other…The language issue is an obstacle, but it depends on you how big of a problem you let it be. One cannot ignore it, since communication is crucial for a relationship…and it can be very difficult sometimes. But I do believe that if people have a bond, a strong bond between them, then language will come naturally, understanding the other person’s language will come naturally (not without an effort and hard work obviously since nothing falls down on us from the sky).

Wonderful life.................

“It’s a wonderful, wonderful life…” – indeed it is. I have had a magical week with my most precious person…It was a happy time throughout the entire time, whether we were sitting at home, doing basically nothing, or cooking together, or cleaning, or just looking at each other…This was a major test for me, especially the part where he eats my Moldovan cooking or notJ)). Any woman in this part of the world knows the saying: ‘The path to a man’s heart is through his stomach!’’J))). The questions was whether Moldovan cuisine can conquer the heart of a man from Japan, who are virtually not used to the heavy food we have. It was double stress for me because he is also a cook….ahhh….while cooking I was very nervous. If you wonder…he did eat it….:))))! This made me very happy! During the entire stay we only had one fight and that happened because of a misunderstanding, a translation problem. The important thing is that though I was very upset for some time, I did not let it eat away at me and decided to give him the benefit of a doubt. This is a problem that may occur frequently in a mixed couple. Most importantly, please have the patience to listen to your partner, even if at times you do not want to. Listening to one another is crucial, but when your partner is a foreigner there might be some differences in the meaning of the words and expressions he uses, so pay twice as much attention to what he says. Listen not only with your ears but also with your heart.

I will never get tired of saying: ”Matters of the heart are complicated”. Relationships always require a lot of hard work and people have to be mentally prepared to make concessions in any relationship. Dating a Japanese man is no different. I would even say that it makes me even more aware that I have to be more understanding and more tolerant and more ready to take one step back as to see him taking a couple of steps back too. After all a Japanese man is somebody who is always thinking about the future…This can be a blessing and tiresome at the same time, but I prefer to see this as a good thing. Compared to a future I do not know I prefer to have somebody sketch it out for me. People are different and the process of making two people breathe and live as one is full of adventures and obstacles. I am fully aware of that…Every single day I get to feel so much…Somehow it is a different feeling from what I had in my past relationships. Frankly I do not know whether it is the nationality that makes the difference or the person himself, but I am grateful and full of admiration for the man who wants to be a real man when he is around me, for me and because of me, for the man who lets me feel a woman. The women who come to us are all very different and all seek different things but when you get down to it, what matters in the end is what you feel when you are with that person. At that moment, such trivial obstacles as the language barrier and cultural differences pale…We have a saying here “He who does not risk, does not drink champagne”. Deciding that you want to meet somebody from another country always assumes some sort of risk, the risk of a mismatch, but when you think about it is not bigger than the risk with any usual relationship I think. In the end it is all about giving yourself a chance, allowing yourself to be happy, to enjoy life, to love life and not run from those who bring out these feelings in us no matter how difficult it may seem at the beginning….Love does conquer it all, don't you know that?

Miles apart...yet so close...

Many people have been asking me lately what makes a Japanese man different from other men. I think this is the wrong way to ask this question. I would ask what makes a man a real man? And the answer comes naturally – it is sure not his nationality. Building a relationship is a difficult process no matter where you are from. Matters of the heart are complicated as it is to add the nationality issue into the equation. Obviously there are some cultural differences, but none of them prevent people from having a happy, fulfilling relationship. After all it is all about the feeling you get from a person. If this connection exists, then even the obstacle of not knowing one’s language cannot stop people from being together. The fact remains that Japanese people impose themselves as very respectful and polite. I think this is a quality most women in Moldova would want to find in their beloved. I do not want to say that Moldovan men are not polite, but the reality is that most of them have long forgotten how to court a woman in the proper way. From this point of view, a Japanese man has the aura of a prince on a white horseJ)). They are the type who sweep you off your feet but at the same time give you a feeling of comfort and security. Basically you could compare this state to the image of a balloon who is held securely by the string so that the wind does not take it away. Trust me, to your first date he will come with flowers, very well groomed and will try to make you as comfortable as possible, opposed to our Moldovan way when men take women to THEIR favorite place, usually accompanied by THEIR friends and so on. So what makes a man a man? Huh? Do any of you have an answer?

Life is like a box of chocolates

Have you ever seen the oh so popular “Forest Gump”? Then maybe you remember how the main lead says that life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what filling you will find inside until you take a bite. So now imagine, here we are, looking at this box of chocolates (see this as an analogy for men) and not knowing how to decide which one to try………What do we do? I say just jump right in it and do not think too much, the chocolate is going to be delicious anyway….I am looking at a chocolate as we speak and his name is Tadao. To be honest I am a bit anxious about biting in, but at the same time it is such a thrill. If you are a chocolate lover, then you definitely know that delicious dark chocolate with peperoncino, it is one of my favorite and somehow this is the flavor that I associate with Tadao. At first you are a bit weary about tasting it since it has hot chili peppers on the wrapper, then when you decide to do it after all, you sense the classic taste of dark chocolate at first that surprises you later with a spicy and at the same time sweet aftertaste. And this is how a chocolate, or a person;) will forever find a place in your world. What is you flavor ladies? Don’t you want to taste something new?

Just some time ago, I was living my usual, routine life, not even contemplating the possibility of such a drastic change happening in my life so fast. It is too early to think of the future…but I am waiting for it with excitement. By the way this reminded me about something I was discussing with Tadao yesterday. He told me that there is a difference in how Japanese people and Moldovan people perceive their life and future. He did get it right when it comes to Moldovans – we live every day at a time, we do not like making long term plans, because we know that we live in an unstable environment. This has caused our nature to be unstable too. In Japan on the other hand, people always think and plan ahead, this way they feel safer. So just in case you are having one of your first conversations during which a Japanese gentleman tells you he wants to have 2 kids, take a deep breathe (this is what I would have done) and after a moment you will start to appreciate the fact that this man respects you enough to tell you about such personal dreams of his. I know in Moldova, and I give you myself and my friends as an example, hearing such a thing during the first dates would be difficult to digest, but remember that Japanese men always think about the future. And of course nobody likes to waste time! I have to admit that this is a very good quality which can reassure a woman and offer her a more stable view of what it is to come. Every woman in this world wants this sense of stability and I like the fact that for Japanese men this comes as a given.

huh...?

I did not think I would write today, but I just found out a detail that may be interesting to know for both the men from Japan and the women from Moldova. Moldovan women do like men with glasses!!! Apparently women in Japan do not like to see a man with glasses, but us women from this tiny Eastern Europe country see glasses as a sign of intelligence. I think most ladies will agree with me that a man who wears glasses looks more masculine and his presence is stronger. Personally for me and since this is my blog I have the right to say this out loud - a man with glasses looks very attractive:))). Hope this was useful for both parties. If you are curious then please visit our website - www.japan-moldova.net/md